The following information comes from the book called “Telling Yourself The Truth,” by Marie Chapian and William D Backus. I’ve included a few quotes from the book, most of the bible verses used, and I also added a few bible verses that I thought were fitting.
Misbelief and how to be set free from it
It is not, however, events either past or present which make us feel the way we feel, but our interpretation of those events. (Telling Yourself the Truth p. 15)
James 3:14 But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth.
Misbeliefs are the cause of the destructive behavior people persist in engaging in even when they are fully aware that it is harmful to them (Telling Yourself the Truth p. 16).
Negative and distorted statements which a person repeats to himself come from the devil. Your flesh accepts them without question and then, like spoiled, rotting food, these words of mental poison create painful emotional aches and pains.
(Telling Yourself the Truth p. 17).
Romans 8:6
For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.
John 8:31-32
Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. and you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”
John 14:6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.
Psalm 1:1-2 Blessed is the man Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, Nor stands in the path of sinners, Nor sits in the seat of the scornful; But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night.
Our feelings and behavior result from our beliefs
“Change a man’s beliefs and you will change his feelings and behavior.”
(Telling Yourself the Truth p. 27)
Proverbs 23:7a For as he thinks in his heart, so is he…
Proverbs 12:5
The thoughts of the righteous are right, But the counsels of the wicked are deceitful.
Psalm 119:59 I thought about my ways, and turned my feet to Your testimonies.
Matthew 9:29 Then He touched their eyes, saying, “According to your faith let it be to you.”
Self-talk
If we do not find worth in what we are and what we have now, we will tell ourselves we are less important than others or we have less than others. (Telling Yourself the Truth p. 32).
Philippians 4:11 Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content
Proverbs 15:4 A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, But perverseness in it breaks the spirit.
Psalms 34:13-14 Keep your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking deceit. Depart from evil and do good; Seek peace and pursue it.
When you like yourself, you will be free to like and appreciate others. When you are hard on yourself, you will be hard on others. (Telling Yourself the Truth p. 35).
Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.
2 Corinthians 10:5 casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ
When we become God’s children the great I dies and there’s a change, sweet as morning, that takes place and we trade banners: the old used I for a shiny impenetrable His. Self-talk that degrades others degrades ourselves. (Telling Yourself the Truth p. 42).
When you’re depressed
Psalm 42:5 Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him For the help of His countenance.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.
James 1:16-17 Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.
When we lose someone or something important to us, we will feel hurt, yes; but if the hurt deepens to despondency and depression and remains that way for weeks or months, the cause is not the loss but misbelief. (Telling Yourself the Truth p. 43).
Galatians 6:9 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.
To ascribe the all-sufficiency of God to any person is idolatry, and the basis for idolatry is deception and misbelief. (Telling Yourself the Truth p. 44).
When feeling angry
Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God
James 1:19-20 So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
Ephesians 4:26 “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath
Mathew 18:15 Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.
Proverbs 17:9 He who covers a transgression seeks love, But he who repeats a matter separates friends.
The constant repeating of misbeliefs is what sustains and perpetuates angry resentment. Constant repeating of the truth generates peace and health. (Telling Yourself the Truth (p. 52).
Psalm 55:22 Cast your burden on the Lord, And He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.
John 16:13 However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come.
When experiencing anxiety
Jesus never told us to go out and take a course in how to get people to like us. He told us to love Him, trust Him, have faith in Him, glorify Him, and to genuinely care about others. (Telling Yourself the Truth p. 71).
Job 3:25 For the thing I greatly feared has come upon me, and what I dreaded has happened to me.
John 14:23 Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him.
Romans 8:11 But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.
John 16:33 These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.
2 Corinthians 12:9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
2 Corinthians 4:17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory
Luke 11:9 So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.
James 4:7 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
1 John 4:4 You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.
Isaiah 40:31 But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.
When you lack self-control
Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.
James 1:12 Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.
Ephesians 3:16 that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Matthew 4:10 Then Jesus said to him, “Away with you, Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve.’ ”
Luke 21:19 By your patience possess your souls.
Philippians 4:11 Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content
Philippians 4:19 And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
Romans 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.
John 15:5 I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.
2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.
Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.
The most important thing you can do to increase your self-control is to identify the misbeliefs in the words you tell yourself. Then argue against those misbeliefs. Never let yourself get away with misbelief talk. Use determination and energy in arguing and refusing each misbelief with the truth. (Telling Yourself the Truth p. 110).
1 John 4:4 You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.
When feeling self-hate
Matthew 22:37-39 Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’
The Scriptures teach us two important truths about our self-worth. 1. Our life, including our opinions, feelings, wants and needs, is not less valuable or important than anyone else’s and 2. Our life, including our opinions, feelings, wants and needs, is not more valuable or important than anyone else’s. (Telling Yourself the Truth p. 115).
When Jesus said, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends [John 15:13],” He prepared the way for us to be able to love ourselves in the purest sense. Condemnation, guilt, despair, self-degradation, shame and self-hate have all been nailed to the cross in His body. By His taking our sin on the cross with Him, we are set free to live healthy and abundant lives with wholesome, pure, swept-clean attitudes. (Telling Yourself the Truth pp. 115-116).
1 John 3:16 By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.
1 Corinthians 3:16 Do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?
1 Timothy 6:6 Now godliness with contentment is great gain.
1 Corinthians 4:3-4 But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by a human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. For I know of nothing against myself, yet I am not justified by this; but He who judges me is the Lord.
Hebrews 13:5 Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Change
John 1:12-13 But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name: who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.
2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.
Ezekiel 36:26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.
Taking risks
Look at the risk God took when He created man with a free will. He took the risk that man might use his will to rebel against God, his creator and protector. And that’s just what happened. (Telling Yourself the Truth p. 144)
Genesis 1:26 Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”
Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God
Isaiah 53:6 All we like sheep have gone astray; We have turned, every one, to his own way; And the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.
Faith itself is a risk. You must trust God and act in faith in order to take that step you cannot see. (Telling Yourself the Truth p. 144).
Matthew 10:16 Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.
1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.
1 Peter 5:7 casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.
Philippians 3:7-8 But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ
Saint Paul here was willing to risk everything there was to risk because he knew with absolute certainty whom he belonged to, and a relationship with Jesus Christ was more important to him than his own comfort and life. (Telling Yourself the Truth p. 146).
Hebrews 11:6 But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.
Relationships with others
When you dream up a list of obligations for others, you’re leaving yourself wide open for disappointment. These arbitrary obligations you put others under are not in accord with the Word of God at all. (William. Telling Yourself the Truth p. 153).
There are only two basic obligations, two things we ought to do: “Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind . . . love thy neighbor as thyself.” Matthew 22:37-39. (Telling Yourself the Truth p. 155).
God’s love is a love of free choice. What wonderful words those are! True freedom is the opportunity to choose to act and live as you ought. We have the glorious opportunity to discover the personality of Jesus, to choose love over manipulation, guilt, and false obligation. (Telling Yourself the Truth p. 156).
Romans 13:10 Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.
Romans 13:8 Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law.
Psalms 37:4
Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.
Matthew 9:29 Then He touched their eyes, saying, “According to your faith let it be to you.”
Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.
1 Thessalonians 5:21 Test all things; hold fast what is good.
When feeling indispensable
Luke 10:41 And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things.
Mark 6:31 And He said to them, “Come aside by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while.” For there were many coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat.
Matthew 14:23 And when He had sent the multitudes away, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray. Now when evening came, He was alone there.
Other helpful verses
Psalms 94:14 For the Lord will not cast off His people, Nor will He forsake His inheritance.
Psalm 121:5-6 The Lord is your keeper; The Lord is your shade at your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, Nor the moon by night.
Isaiah 43:1-2 But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you.
Psalms 34:13 Keep your tongue from evil, And your lips from speaking deceit.
Romans 8:37-39 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Proverbs 15:4 A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, But perverseness in it breaks the spirit.
Fix Your Gaze On Jesus 